Osho: Intimacy

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“The word ’intimacy’ comes from a Latin root: ’intimum’.  Intimum means your interiority;  your innermost core.  Unless you have something there, you can’t be intimate with anybody. You cannot allow intimum, intimacy, because he will see the hole, the wound and the pus oozing out of it. He will see that you don’t know who you are, that you are a madman, that you don’t know where you are going, that you have not even heard your own song, that your life is a chaos, it is not a cosmos.

Hence the fear of intimacy. Even lovers rarely become intimate. And just to be sexually related to somebody is not intimacy. The genital orgasm is not all that is there in intimacy. It is just the periphery of it; intimacy can be with it, can be without it.

Intimacy is a totally different dimension. It is allowing the other to come into you, to see you as you see yourself, to allow the other to see you from your inside, to invite somebody to that deepest core of your being. In the modern world intimacy is disappearing. Even lovers are not intimate. Friendship is only a word now – it has disappeared. And the reason? The reason is that there is nothing to share. And who wants to show one’s inner poverty? One wants to pretend ’I am rich, I have arrived, I know what I am doing, I know where I am going.’

One is not ready and courageous enough to open up, to show one’s inner chaos and to be vulnerable. The other may exploit it – that fear is there. The other may become too dominant seeing that you are a chaos. Seeing that you need a master, that you are not a master of your own being, the other may become the master. Hence everybody tries to protect themselves, so nobody knows their inner helplessness, otherwise they can be exploited. This world consists of much exploitation.

Love is the goal, and once the goal is clear you start growing an inner richness. The wound disappears and becomes a lotus; the wound is transformed into a lotus. That is the miracle of love, the magic of love. Love is the greatest alchemical force in the world. Those who know how to use it can reach the highest peak called god. Those who know not how to use it remain crawling in the dark recesses of existence; they never come to the sunlit peaks of life.”

~Osho

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