Just Be Held
Music has been incredibly healing for me since Ivy died. I remember someone once saying that it can be hard to pray when you are going through difficult seasons of life but listening to Christian music is like praying when you don’t have your own words.
I can remember being in the hotel room in Duluth, two weeks following Ivy’s death, just staring out the window with tears streaming down my face. I had no idea what I was feeling. I was not in control. My entire world seemed upside down. I felt as if I wanted to scream, curl up into a ball and never move again. My heart was torn in two. My anxiety was through the roof. I was confused. I did not know how to communicate to Erick what I was feeling or what I needed. I remember just telling him to hold me. Looking back I do not know how I managed to get through that day when time seemed to stand still.
Then one day, a few weeks later, I came across the song “Just be Held” by Casting Crowns, and it spoke directly to what I was feeling that day in the hotel room. It told me exactly what I needed. I did not need anyone to understand what I was feeling, that would be impossible. I did not need anyone to fix me, there was no fixing that could be done. I just, simply, needed to be held.
“Hold it all together, everybody needs you strong. But life hits you out of nowhere and barely leaves you holding on. And when you’re tired of fighting, chained by your control. There’s freedom in surrender, lay it down and let it go. So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away, you’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held. Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place. I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held.”
When this song comes on, I still stop what I am doing and spend a few minutes listening to the lyrics. It still takes me back to that day, in the hotel, when the world was crashing in around me. What power music can have.
Today, I challenge you to listen to “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns and truly take some time to hear the lyrics.
For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and tells you: Do not fear, I will help you. –Isaiah 41:13
Fly high, dragonfly!
Peace and love,